RIP Munchkin

the only cat that i loved the most until today, died peacefully at the first level of my building. my mum let her out lastnight, hoping she would get better since she is sick. munchkin is our first cat, i repeat, OUR FIRST CAT as a pet. we saw her in Ipoh in front of our house, as dirty as a stray cat can be. however, my dad took her in and my mum groom her till she became one of the queen in the house besides my mum. we called her queen because she has this classy and ignorant look and also she cleans herself most of the time. she is also the fiercest among all cats. she is picky because i remember she dont like to eat the same food all the time, she will ask for a bread or wet food. 

i am very close to her because she listen to me very well. whenever i called her she will come. she is more into me than anyone else. my family always said

kucing erika

i remember there this one time, i was eighteen. i didnt apply for government universities and i got scolded by my dad. i cried while sitting on the sofa. munchkin was staring at me helplessly on the floor. i kinda talk to her that i am sad because dady scolded me and so on. then she jump up to my lap, make a turn probably trying to find the best position for her to sit on my lap, then she lay on my lap with her head on my lap. that is when i realized she understands me and its just so nice of her to come and comfort me.

i got the news right after i had my shower. i was in my towel where Amy Jie open my door and told me Munchkin is dead.

i wasnt surprise

i didnt burst in tears

=(

i just ask where did u find her and how did she died, is there any bites on her. then i realized i was already in tears. i closed the door since i need to put on my clothes. it was sad. extremely sad. i cried so hard till my eyes were so puffy i have to put ice on them. i went to throw the garbage yesterday morning. my mum put her outside, in her cage, near the elevator of my building. while waiting for the elevator, i look at her. usually i dont dare to look at her because she is sick and its just painful to see her that way. i look at her and say

i love you munchkin but i cant do anything about it. may god bless you.

after that, the elevator door opened and i went in with little tears in my eyes. i think all this while, she is waiting for me. waiting for me to see her. waiting for me to say my goodbye to her. 

*crying*

i cant believe this is actually happening. just recently someone asked 'what would u say to someone that already knew death is knocking at the door'. do you want to know what did i do. 

i do nothing at first

i dont dare to look at her

i seldom see her

i refused to accept the fact that she is going to die soon

when i know she will

Munchkin will always be my favorite, one and only cat that i've ever loved the most. i dont think i want to love anything that is alive. its painful when they are gone. this is bullshit. dont listen to me, im sad so what i wrote is irrelevant. Mummy told me, a cat who loves the owner will not die in the house or in front of you. 

she did

i will always love you Munchkin

rest in peace

"all munchkins will die. some have 9 lives, pray yours will return"

u know what. i dont want to pray there will be another Munchkin because in the end, she is going to leave me or i am going to leave her, either one. that is like repeating the same hurtful feelings again and again. i dont want to be hurt like this anymore and im not going to let her feel like this. 

sadness

one of the kind and unique. she has a very short tail, cute eyes. i love how she walks, different than others. she sleeps like me, cuddle up like a baby. somehow, mariah carey - one sweet day is on my mind now :)